bradandkathy.com

Crying

Henry is screaming right now. I am in another room, with the door closed. I actually sat here for half a minute with my hands over my ears. I have almost never done this. He is with his dad; I didn’t just leave him. But I have tried everything I could think of: nursing on each breast in a variety of positions, playing with favorite toys, a walk outside, a visit to the monkey mobile, walking around the house, music, singing. None of the usual things is working. None of the unusual things is working. I think his teeth may be bothering him, but he wouldn’t let me rub his gums so I can’t be sure. I feel like crap. His screaming is just getting more desperate. He hasn’t really screamed like this in a while. It is awful. It is the end of the world. And yet it isn’t. I know he will stop, he will be okay, we will be okay. But right now, it is the end of everything. Nothing will feel right for a while. I can’t stand it anymore. I have to go.